Many people know that IM and I were in our "dummy" cycle this past month. We were taking meds, having ultrasounds and blood work done and waiting for our transfer date.
Last week IM had had a surprise when her wonky cycle decided to be more off than ever. With that the cycle was cancelled and I was instructed to change my meds. The doctors were putting my cycle in a holding pattern. IM went into the clinic this week to see one Doctor on Monday and then visited with our attending physician on Wednesday.
I knew how upset IM was. We normally text daily and over the past four days she has barely messaged me. She was very upset that the cycle was cancelled and I understand that. So much hope and dreaming happen when these processes are going on. She was heartbroken and found it very hard to discuss it with me.
So I will be honest, I wasn't surprised when I received the text this morning. My IP's have decided that this process is no longer for them. They have cancelled all further processes at the clinic and I am no longer their surrogate. IM found this too stressful and as she said her mental health just couldn't take it anymore.
I respect their decision. I don't know what they are going through. Yes, I'm doped up on hormones and have had to go through a lot in the past couple months, but I wasn't hoping to have a baby in the end. I would have loved to have given them that baby but things happen for a reason.
Two weeks ago a couple contacted me asking for information on how to find a surrogate. I provided them all I knew, and they seemed like a great couple. I heard this weekend that they are still looking. They have embryos all ready to go...they just need an oven. I am a preheated oven that is looking to cook a bun. I'll see if I can have a chat with them and if we connect.
My husband and I were talking about it today, about our next step. We've been in surrogacy mode for a year. We might as well look for a couple who is ready. For us it's now or never. We don't want to be doing this a year from now.
I love our IP's and we will continue the friendship that began a year ago. I wish them all the best in the decisions and I pray that they are happy with whatever is in their future.
